This is a random pile of articles, thoughts, and the stuff that makes me me. Opinions are mine.
I’m 43. Engaged to Hailey, who happens to be my best friend, and yeah, she makes me a better version of me. Two kids, three dogs. I own System Jiu-Jitsu with my big bro Jacen, who gave me my black belt in 2015. First one he ever promoted.
Here’s the thread that runs through everything I do: I don’t trust willpower. I build systems instead.
Twenty years on the mat, a decade building software, and the lesson is the same in both. Motivation runs out. Discipline cracks. So you stop depending on them. You design the thing so the right move is the default, then you show up and let the structure carry you. That’s how I coach jiu-jitsu, how I lead teams, how I run my own life. The system beats the effort, every time.
That’s also why I’m not interested in the “wake up at 4am and suffer” stuff. Suffering well is a failure of design. The point isn’t to push harder. It’s to build better, so you don’t have to.
Lately I’m into leatherwork, coding, and pretty much anything AI.
I got sober in 2020. Best decision I’ve ever made, and it’s not close.
I’m divorced. I co-parent well with my kids’ mom. My parents split when I was young, and my mom remarried Ray, my stepdad. He passed in 2018, early onset Alzheimer’s, 67 years old. That one still sits with me.
I think you make your own luck. Work hard, take care of your people, push the pace. Almost everything is possible if you actually believe it is, then go do something about it.
I’m into performance psychology, fitness, Jiu-Jitsu, sales, and building things. Hard projects with cool people. That’s the whole game for me.
Just shipped my first app for the gym, web and mobile.
And my kids. I’m in awe of how kind they are.
Socials:
Nick Hession-Kugelman 